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Excellent. Today sees the start of the third group matches in this seasons Champions League, or to give it its full title, The Champions and other teams deemed worthy enough to play League. I know people will say ' Liverpool were not champions when they won it in 2005 blah blah', but neither were the Mancs when they won it in 1999, so there!

FC Copenhagen are the visitors to Manchester's lair of f$*kwits for tonight's game. So look out for Gary Neville throwing his toys out of the pram and threatening to go on strike after the referee gives Copenhagen an obvious throw in. Gasp in amazement as Fergie demands to know why the referee didn't add enough stoppage time at the end of the game if the Mancs are not winning. Laugh at John O'Shea's defending, Howl in delight when Ronaldo falls over in the penalty area to try and get a penalty (complete with a double pike and perfect tuck!), and gets booked for the privilege. I could keep going all day on these, but moving on.

With the Mancs game being on the television, I would like to introduce you to a new game I have developed over the years called:

CLIVE TYLDSLEY'S CLICHE BINGO!
The rule are very simple. Listed below are a few words that Mr Tyldsley always uses in his commertary on televison with complete indifference to who is playing. Use the words to form sentences and add up each word score. At the end of the game the person with the most points wins. Simple. Here are the words and their individual scores.

BARCELONA - 5pts
NOU CAMP - 5pts
THAT MAGIC NIGHT - 5pts
TREBLE YEAR - 5pts
INJURY TIME WINNER - 6pts
SOLSKEAR AND SHERINGHAM - 10pts (5 for each)
1999 - 5pts
SIR MATT BUSBY SMILING - 5pts

And a bonus 100pts if he gets them all in one sentence.

I will not be playing, i have better things to than watch the Mancs play. I am sure there is a wall I can paint and watch dry. It would be better entertainment.

The Arse are off to Moscow for their game. I assume young Theo will play some sort of part in the game, providing he has remembered to get his permission slip signed by his Mum.

Speaking of Arsenal, do you remember that woman who always screamed loudly at Highbury? Well, it appears she is on holiday in India watching the cricket between Sri Lanka and Pakistan.