Another weekends football nearly over and what fun it was too. Aston Villa went to gods own stadium as the only unbeaten team in the Premiership and were promptly walloped 3-1. Now why can't we do that every week? Pundits and Journalists and so-called experts are always harping on about the squad rotation system and the damage it does to team spirit, and they put this down as a reason to have a dig at our mediocre start to this season. They maybe right of course, but as Rafa Benitez has said, where were the complaints when we won the Champion's League and FA Cup?

The one result I was hoping to see, (and was slightly expecting to be honest), was a Bolton win against the Mancs. But once again, the Mancs have disappointed me by winning. Looking at that game from a different perspective, the Mancs played bloody well against a team with a formidable home record this season. The Arse slipped up again by only drawing against Everton. But the whole league can take relief from the fact that next season they will be crap again. (they follow a pattern do Everton. Crap season, good season, crap season, etc). The surprise package this season, Porstmouth, produced another win. I am so impressed with them this season that I used the transfer windows on my dream teams to put in a few players from there. It wont last of course, but let the pompey fans enjoy it for a while.

The Russian money machine went to Sheffield United and won 2-0. Not really shocking of course but I wouldn't be surprised if Sheffield United were awarded a throw in and Jose Mourinho complained about it stating that the officials are against him. And the FA. And FIFA......

I have had a preview of the 2007 Oxford English Dictionary, which contain a few new words and modern expressions. I would like to share them with you, if I may:

SHEVCHENKO - 1. A product or service which is wanted throughout the world and is very expensive, but turns out to be completely useless and a waste of money.
2. A stock exchange term for wasting £30 million.

MOURINHO - 1. Arrogant. -ISH - Arrogance.
2. A conspiracy theory brought on by severe paranoia, which is then dismissed as nonsense and ridiculed then turned into a joke.

ROONEY - The act of sleeping with someones Grandmother.

OLD TRAFFORD - 1. A Lunatic asylum or sanitarium.
2. Home of Lancashire County Cricket Club

RIO - 1. Thinking that you are the best in your position in the country, but you are not even the best in your own family.
2. Missing an important appointment to go shopping.
3. A large city on the coast of Brazil.

WISE - Promising to stay in your current job then leaving for a better job immediately. Previously known as a Hoddle.

MAN U FAN - A mindless moron aged 10 who now supports Chelsea.

ROBBIE FOWLER - God. Simple as that

NEVILLE - Completely crap.

I will post some more as and when I find some.

Some news to upset my wife has unfolded over the last 2 days. The wife is a Swindon Town supporter of many years and she was enjoying the recent good form of the club. However the news that the mastermind's behind the good form has left for Leeds has not gone down well. Dennis Wise, the former Chelsea captain and all round cheeky chappie, has only been at Swindon since the summer so it was a bit of a surprise that he has left already. OK, many will argue that Leeds are a bigger club and the opportunity to work with Ken Bates again is an offer too good turn down. What I want to know is, what happened to loyalty? The days of managers staying with clubs a long time appears to be over. There are some exceptions of course, like Dario Gradi, Alex Ferguson, Sam Alladyce and Arsene Wegner. Not all the managers have left for pastures new by choice of course, the pressure to deliver these days is higher than ever, with some Managers getting the sack if they lose 3-4 games in a row. (Alan Pardew ought to be worried!). Leeds sacked DavidO'Leary after he failed to get them into the Champions League. Now no-one can tell me that a top 5 finish is an excuse to sack the boss, but the then chairman, a certain Peter Risdale, gambled millions in the promise of Champions League qualification, so O'Leary was sacked, unfairly, as the scapegoat. It was this that sent Leeds to the brink of bankruptcy and were relegated after selling all their big name players. After what happened at Leeds, the FA should have banned Risdale from having anything to do with football for a very long time. So I couldn't help but feel a bit sorry for Cardiff City fans when the rumours over the weekend about Risdale taking over as chairman started. You have been warned.....

Wayne Rooney is 21 today. I wonder if his team mates get him a stripper for his birthday? A nice 65 year old one. Called Mavis......

Bugger. That result just about sums up the season so far. Good at home but poor away. But am I going to eat humble pie? Am I hell! I still maintain that Manchester United are a waste of space, and I still hope that anybody but them wins the league. Things were so bad for the mighty reds today that even Rio Ferdinand scored. Yes even bloody Rio! I can't put my finger on why we are so poor away from home, but Rafa had better come up with some ideas soon or we will be out of contention for everything this season. We are just about out of the running for the league title, not completely out of it, but nearly. What we could do with is a good run of wins, like we had last season. In fact, if last season had started in October, we would have been champions.

Yesterday the self-proclaimed special one managed to turn a win against a useful Portsmouth side into a farcical attempt at one of his famous 'why does everyone hate us' type rants. Now from what I heard he questioned why his team of pampered, over-rated team had to play on a Saturday after playing in Europe on Wednesday (at home, I will add), when Manc Utd and Liverpool got to play on Sunday. Well you have my deepest sympathies. NOT. Get over it you big bloody woman. The reason why Liverpool and Manchester United played on Sunday is because they were playing each other in what is one of the seasons most high - profile games and therefore moved to the Sunday for TV coverage. Not some sort of pan-global anti-Chelsea conspiracy of which there are now apparently hundreds. A Chelsea player gets booked - the referee is bent. Chelsea lose, and the whole world of Football is hell bent of stopping Chelsea. Moriniho has already turned Chelsea into one of the most hated teams in the country with his pathetic whinging all the time, any more and he will be more unpopular that Sir fergie of Manc's, and that is saying something. SNAP OUT OF IT YOU MORON!

If he wants to be more popular and respected, then he must learn to stop mouthing off about everything and stop his team doing the same. And if he learns to teach certain members of his team that in English football diving and over-acting is soundly condemned, and convince them to stop doing it, then he will get a bit more respect.

Another good week for English club's competing in European competitions with all winning apart from the Arse. Even God's own football team got a good away win in France with Peter Crouch scoring the winner. All together now! HE'S BIG, HE'S RED, HIS FEET STICK OUT THE BED...! Anyway, back to the serious stuff of the Premiership, where on Sunday the magnificent red machine of the holy city of Liverpool go and play a bunch of ill-educated thicko's in the cauldron of bollocks that poses as a stadium for the inbred. Yes, at last we are playing the Mancs. With our away record this season we will more than likely lose, but in recent years we have got a half decent record there. Only snag is we sold super Danny Murphy 2 seasons ago and it always seemed to be him that scored our winners there.

My boss, bless him, is a Manc fan, and I am hoping to really wind him up next week. There is nothing better than a win against the scum to put me in a good working mood. Mind you if we lose, I'll never hear the end of it. But that's football!

After last night's festivities, which saw a win for the Mancs and a defeat for the Arse (unfairly as well from what I could gather), tonight sees Liverpool and Chelsea face tough games in the Champions League. Chelsea's task is by far the toughest, taking on the reigning champions Barcelona. These two clubs have a history having faced each other in the previous two competitions. It was this fixture that caused the row that made a referee retire and convince Chelsea and their fans that everybody is out to get them. Remember the Luis Garcia goal farce from 2 seasons ago? Yep, it brought out all the "UEFA are out to get us....whinge whinge whinge, blub blub" nonsense. Look, the simple fact of the matter is that NO ONE CARES ANYMORE! EVEN IF THE GOAL WAS DISALLOWED, THE 'KEEPER WOULD HAVE BEEN SENT OFF AND LIVERPOOL WOULD HAVE HAD A PENALTY! SO BLOODY WELL GET OVER IT!.

It has even happened following the horrible injury to Petr Cech, after Chelsea moaned and groaned about the delay in getting an ambulance to take him to hospital. Reading and the local emergency services see things a bit differently of course, and more than likely, correctly, and have defended their actions. In an Interview on the always excellent BBC radio 5live, the ambulance was at the ground within seven minutes of been called. So are the hours only 14 minutes long on Chelsea's planet? Thought not. Anyway back to the games....

Barca have a formidable team and are hard to break down and beat. All their players would grace any national side in the world. But Chelsea are due a win against them. Liverpool have a tricky away trip to Bordeaux, (another 'B' team....) and quite honestly we need a good win to prove to the doubters that Liverpool are a world class team. Stevie Gerrard is injured so the captain will be the ever impressive Jamie Carragher. I could not even to speculate what the rest of the team should be due to Rafa's team rotation policy, but I would start with Reina, Carragher, Agger, Finnan, Riise, Sissoko, Alonso, Pennant, Garcia, Crouch and Robbie the god. If Kuyt is fit enough I would leave him on the bench and only, and I mean only, bring him on in an emergency.

All in all, tonight should provide some terrific entertainment for fans and neutrals alike. Hopefully finishing with a Liverpool win.

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Excellent. Today sees the start of the third group matches in this seasons Champions League, or to give it its full title, The Champions and other teams deemed worthy enough to play League. I know people will say ' Liverpool were not champions when they won it in 2005 blah blah', but neither were the Mancs when they won it in 1999, so there!

FC Copenhagen are the visitors to Manchester's lair of f$*kwits for tonight's game. So look out for Gary Neville throwing his toys out of the pram and threatening to go on strike after the referee gives Copenhagen an obvious throw in. Gasp in amazement as Fergie demands to know why the referee didn't add enough stoppage time at the end of the game if the Mancs are not winning. Laugh at John O'Shea's defending, Howl in delight when Ronaldo falls over in the penalty area to try and get a penalty (complete with a double pike and perfect tuck!), and gets booked for the privilege. I could keep going all day on these, but moving on.

With the Mancs game being on the television, I would like to introduce you to a new game I have developed over the years called:

CLIVE TYLDSLEY'S CLICHE BINGO!
The rule are very simple. Listed below are a few words that Mr Tyldsley always uses in his commertary on televison with complete indifference to who is playing. Use the words to form sentences and add up each word score. At the end of the game the person with the most points wins. Simple. Here are the words and their individual scores.

BARCELONA - 5pts
NOU CAMP - 5pts
THAT MAGIC NIGHT - 5pts
TREBLE YEAR - 5pts
INJURY TIME WINNER - 6pts
SOLSKEAR AND SHERINGHAM - 10pts (5 for each)
1999 - 5pts
SIR MATT BUSBY SMILING - 5pts

And a bonus 100pts if he gets them all in one sentence.

I will not be playing, i have better things to than watch the Mancs play. I am sure there is a wall I can paint and watch dry. It would be better entertainment.

The Arse are off to Moscow for their game. I assume young Theo will play some sort of part in the game, providing he has remembered to get his permission slip signed by his Mum.

Speaking of Arsenal, do you remember that woman who always screamed loudly at Highbury? Well, it appears she is on holiday in India watching the cricket between Sri Lanka and Pakistan.

Today, to start with, I am dropping all club rivalry and mickey taking. This is only temporary, normal service will resume shortly. I would like to wish Petr Cech, the Chelsea goalkeeper, a speedy and complete recovery from his horrible head injury sustained during Saturdays game at Reading. No-one, and I mean no-one, wishes an injury like that on any player, especially a world class player who is at the top of his game. It was a terrible accident and he and his family have my sympathies.

Right, back to normality. Once again Liverpool drop points against a team beginning with 'B'. Why can't we beat these teams. Bolton, Blackburn, Bloody Everton. In the past teams like Birmingham City and Bristol City have beaten Liverpool, is it some sort of phobia against these teams, or just a jinx. Mind you, the record against 'B' team's was improved last season in the FA cup when Birmingham were destroyed 7-0 at home.

It was good to see that ikle Theo Walcott was allowed to play with the bigger boys at the Arse at the weekend. He played well by all accounts, and so good was his behavior his Dad took him for a happy meal as a reward after the game. Seeing as young Theo is now 17, will he have an autobiography out soon? Every other footballer in the premiership seems to have written one, sorry, ghost written one, so it's about time Theo asked someone to write him one. In all seriousness, he will be an outstanding player for Arse and England in the future. He will be a massive star of the game, even eclipsing Wayne Rooney, who has had 2 films made in his honour (Shrek, anybody?).

Going down into the Coke championship, it was very nice of Stoke City to give me an opportunity to wind up my Leeds supporting Father -in-law by stonking dirty Leeds 4-0 at Elland Road. A superb result for Stoke who recently, you may recall, signed the particularly useless Salif Diao on loan from Liverpool. They can keep him, because I am not joking here, he was exceptionally hopeless. Even more hopeless than his former team mate and fellow Senegal international El Haji -Diouf, and that's saying something.

I was hoping to take the mickey out of Manc Utd, but they won. Again. Gary Neville was injured, apparently so I can't even have the pleasure of some Neville based tomfoolery.

Tomorrow the Champions League is back. So tomorrow I will have some comments about the games coming up this week, including on Wednesday, a look at the mighty red's game in Bordeaux. Another bloody 'B' team then.......

Friday. I love Friday's. The international break is over and we can get back to the serious business of league football and the utter joy to be found in throwing loads of abuse at that lot from cold Trafford. Tomorrow they are off to Wigan in a game they should, but hopefully don't, win. Tottenham have a quite tricky game away at Aston Villa, and Paul Robinson will be expecting to get a very hostile reaction from the home fans. So, Villa fans, go easy on him and blame Gary Neville after all, it was him who kicked it towards him, and also it is utterly hilarious. The Russian money machine and their former Manc United crowd have a nice trip to Reading, where lots of Reading fans, who were not there last season, will give them a nice welcome. Nice crowd are Reading. Had the joy of getting drunk with a load of them a while back when they were in the old division 2. I can only wish them continued success in the Premiership.

My lot, (Liverpool!), are playing at gods own stadium, (Anfield), against Blackburn Rovers in a game we should win, so expect a 0-0 draw then.

Going back to Chelski, will all their new fans go back to Manc United if they don't anything this year?......

Well, that was fun! Another abject performance by the English national side which resulted in a very disappointing 2-0 defeat. The papers, as you may have seen are full of condemnation for Paul Robinson's fatal error for the second goal. Personally I am of the opinion that Gary Neville should have kicked it forward. Hard. Maybe Robinson could have been better placed for the first goal, but the second goal was a pure fluke, a million to one chance, and it was just unlucky that it went passed him. The biggest complaint I have however, is that the manager, Steve McClaren, waited until England were 2-0 down before switching the team back to the more traditional 4-4-2. He should have changed it at half time, when it was apparent to all those watching that the 3-5-2 formation was not working as well as we all expected. Ashley Cole is possibly the best left-back in the world at the moment, and he is very good at staying wide and attacking. But Gary Neville has not got the pace to run the whole right wing and definitely needs Steven Gerrard or Shaun Wright - Phillips in front off him.

But lets not get carried away with slagging off the England team, (and as a Liverpool fan, having a pop at Gary Neville is always fair game) the Croatian side played out of their skins and deserved the win. On the night, they were simply more up for it than England were.

Staying with British sides, It was good to see Wales getting their first win off the competiton against a Cyprus side that beat Ireland last weekend. Hopefully the win will give Craig Bellamy a confidence boost ahead of Liverpool's game against Blackburn this weekend. From what I saw of the Scotland game in Kiev, against a very good Ukraine side, it appears they were harshly treated by the referee, having a man sent off for a very feeble looking challenge on Shevchenko, who, as usual fell over and dived around like Greg Louganis on speed.

This constant cheating is ruining the game. Shevchenko and all the other divers and cheats, players like Ajren Robben, Didier Drogba, Cristiano Ronaldo and that fella from Tottenham who name escapes me, should be punished with a red card and automatic 3 game suspension if the ref catches them and an automatic ban if a panel of official's decides they cheated. We already have a video panel that decides if a player committed a foul and punishes accordingly, why can't they do the same for the divers?

First things first, welcome to my blog. I will point out here that I do not mean to offend anyone here, apart from those who support Man(ure) Utd, these are all my opinions on the wonderful world of football, and mine alone. If you are offended, and lets face it if you support Everton, you are offended at everything anyway, eg: Joey Barton, Robbie the God and Gary Neville (OK, I will forgive the last one), then I can only apologize.

As you may have guessed, I am a Liverpool supporter. For those of you not familiar with the mighty red's, they are the most successful team in English football history. For those Manchester United fans who are not sure where Liverpool is, just head north a couple of hundred miles. For those fans who disagree with the success claim, (and yes there are a few) 18 League championships, 5 European Champions cup/league wins and still counting. Most of you will almost certainly support other teams. Good for you. So I will not just concentrate on Liverpool, although they will feature in a lot of what I write here.

As you also may of guessed, nothing gives me more pleasure than having a pop at Manchester United. Yes, they play good, attractive attacking football and yes, they have one a lot of trophies through the years, Their youth policy is excellent, even though it produced the Neville's. And I will agree that a weak MU side, whilst absolutely hilarious, would mean a weaker Premiership. Don't even get me started on Everton....

Of course, I am a proud Englishman and take a lot of pride in supporting the England team. Tonight they play Croatia in the Euro 2008 qualifiers. This will be a tough challenge for the team as Croatia have never lost a competitive international at home. And quite frankly, if England play like they did against Macedonia, they will lose. Rumour has it that the coach of the team, Steve McClaren, will adopt a 3-5-2 formation for the game. This should be good as normally England play in a 4-4-2. Sven Goran Eriksson never had the balls to try anything other than an ultra-defensive line up, and his reluctance to drop David Beckham, at times hampered the team. So hopefully, when I write tomorrow, the news will be good.